Woman from Earth; Man from Mars (A True Story)

Snow is a rare treat in Georgia so when we recently got about six whole inches of the stuff, I said to husband from Mars, Jack, "Hey why don't we go out on your Gator (another of his gadgets) and ride around the neighborhood to see the snow."

"Okay, sure!" he says.

"Okay, I'll get ready. Give me a few minutes," I say.

I take a quick shower, put on my warm stuff and my snow boots and walk into the living room. The white rabbit has disappeared. "Jack? Jack?" He's not in any of his usual hiding places. I look out the window and the Gator is gone. He's gone without me! I am really ticked off, even hurt.

About half an hour later he comes up the front stairs stomping snow off his feet. "I can't believe it!" I say. "Why did you leave without me?!"

"Well you were taking a shower," he says blankly. He's completely surprised that I'm irritated, missing the point that I was attempting a shared experience. (If he had really thought it through, he would have asked me to go along as ballast. Yes, once when our car got stuck in a ditch, he told me to move over to the other side of the car to act as a counter balance. What?!) He doesn't get it, so I talk myself down in my head, saying, okay, okay just move forward. I'm bundled up like the kid in "A Christmas Story" so I suggest, "Well let's just take the dogs for a walk through the woods, then."

Once again, "Okay!" His cell phone rings. It's our neighbor Gary. "Sure, I can fix that! I'll be over in five minutes," says Jack.

REALLY? I mean REALLY?! (And they say romance is dead!)

Which reminds me, my Dad, rest his soul, often warned me of dangers starting with the words, "They say if you do that . . . " One day, when he began another such warning, I asked, "You've been saying that all my life. Who exactly is 'they'?" He thought for a minute and then said, "Well, actually it's been me all along."