Just in Case I Go Missin'

Jack got home from a business trip, one of the few where he rented a vehicle to drive to the site. Usually he flies all the way across or out of the country. He asked me to follow him down to the rental place to return the truck, but first he wanted to stop off at the recycling center. It was crowded when we got there and I didn’t want to muck up the line, so I rolled down my window and told Jack I’d pull around and wait for him at the exit.

I waited and waited. I even talked to a woman about her shaggy dog. Then I saw him coming around the corner, but he was going really fast. Also, remember that this is a rental truck so I wasn’t certain it was Jack. He flies past me. I jump out of my Jeep and try to flag him down. He’s outta there! He zooms right past me and the guys who are doing community service by recycling cardboard look at me like, “What a loser!”

So I get back in the Jeep and call Jack.

“Hello?” he calmly answers.

“Where are you?!”

“I’m going to the rental place.”

“Didn’t you forget something, like me?”

“I didn’t see you.”

“How could you have not seen me? You almost ran over me! You went out of here like a bat out of hell!”

“Well, I didn’t see you.”

“So you left?!”

(Note to self: Don’t rely on being saved by Jack if the house catches on fire.)

Then his classic line that’s like salt on a slug. “Well there’s no sense in arguing about it now.”

AAAaarggh! @##@$%@@&^

I found the rental place and as he exited his vehicle, I jumped in front of him, jumped up and down, and said, “Do ya see me; do ya see me?”

“Smart ass,” he said

At lights out that night I offered some advice: “You know that was a really flawed plan. I can find my way back home, after all. The next time you try to ditch me, we’ll probably have to be outside the borders of the state in order to delay my return.”

“Okay,” he said.