The Bitch is Back-ward and No Longer in Charge

So Leona Helmsley, the Queen of Mean, left her dog, Trouble, $12 million in her will, leaving out two of her grandchildren and providing stipulations for the other grandchildren that they must visit their father’s grave annually in order to receive their piece of greedy pie. A true control freak to the end, Leona obviously just never got it. I mean, with the proper investments that dog could live quite well on a mere million annually!

Her chauffeur received $100, 000. Great! After taxes, I’m sure that makes up for the abuse and humiliation he received from that biddy. So I’m reminded of Janis Joplin’s song lyrics, “Oh Lord, wantcha buy me a Mercedes Benz?” We’re all taught (at least the rats on the wheel middle class) to not base our lives on possessions and that our rewards (possibly in heaven) will come. But it’s difficult not to think, Yeah a bale of hay, you donkey’s ass!

Twelve million buckaroos! I could pay off our mortgage and debt, send my son through college worry-free, give my family and friends some big chunk change, do some home repairs, and easily live the Life of Riley while finding people who truly are in need and helping them out. Yet, the friggin’ dog is a multimillionaire. I don’t know if Trouble is a bitch or not, but in either case the dog is probably thrilled to be rid of that one. Maybe Trouble truly did earn at least a cool million.

Oh yes, in the balancing act, news networks inform us that Leona left millions to her favorite charities. Are those funds going to philanthropic organizations like the BBC—the charity of choice for the McDonald’s widow? Maybe Leona donated millions to a museum that would name a wing after her. At this point, I don’t give a damn. I hope she spends eternity in hell completing income tax forms for the “little people” as she so often called us, with multiple amendments and audits included.