Restless Legs Must Gamble!

Okay, you’ve heard all of the drug commercials where, usually a woman, rattles off a list of possible side effects for some new medication in sexy sotto voce: “Some people may experience rectal leakage, abdominal pain, unconsciousness while driving, spontaneous dismemberment,” and so on. Therefore, I had to listen to this commercial for Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS) many times before I was convinced that I was hearing correctly. One of the side effects for the RLS medicine, Mirapex, is an intense urge to gamble! What?!

Once convinced that I had indeed heard correctly, I concocted a number of schemes. I occasionally do have the RLS symptoms that resemble electrical shocks going up and down my legs, so I could easily get some of this stuff. Then I could go to Vegas and it would be a win/win situation. If I won, great, but I could still sue the drug manufacturer for trip expenses and for making me a compulsive gambler. If I lost, I could sue the drug company for my losses plus for making me a compulsive gambler. However, when I Googled the drug, I discovered that apparently quite a few people have beaten me to the punch without first applying my creative scheme. See below:

“If you or someone you know have been prescribed Mirapex and have developed a compulsive gambling addiction, and you wish to consult with us, please send us an e-mail or call us at 1-800-553-9910.

Robins, Kaplan, Miller & Ciresi L.L.P. has filed over 58 Mirapex gambling lawsuits in federal court on behalf of clients who developed a compulsive gambling disorder while on Mirapex and are currently involved in the discovery phase of the litigation, including reviewing many internal documents of the Mirapex manufacturers. A trial ready date has been set by the court. We represent many people who have been negatively affected by Mirapex, and we continue to investigate individual cases and to file meritorious cases in court.”

This blows my mind for more than one reason. If taking a pill can give someone a compulsive gambling addiction, then the sky’s the limit. Gambling is a behavior, not even a substance, which says to me that all addiction is a physically ruled condition in the brain even before the body is biologically involved. If a pill can be produced that causes a gambling addiction, than why the hell haven’t they been able to invent one that erases that addiction, and many others?

Anyway, another plan to accumulate riches is once again foiled. But I have advice for all casino owners. Get your hands on as much of that drug as you can and start spiking those complementary drinks!