Why I'm Crazy!

Jack and I are traveling across town to have our new rescue puppy, London, neutered. Jack likes to travel at the speed of sound and makes such abrupt stops that everyone in the car gets a wedgy.

At least twice, the puppy flies from his little bed in the back to the floor. Then I try holding him, but all the movement makes him carsick. I kick myself for not purchasing one of those doggy halters, but little did we know that in order to have the rescue association neuter London for free, we’d have to go to one of their designated facilities two hours away. “Don’t gas prices even out just paying for our own vet?” I want to know. Jack begs to differ.

He starts to program his GPS while he’s driving which results in another occasion for a sudden, heartstopping halt, less than inches from the car in front of us. Then the dialogue continues as follows:

GPS: Please turn right in 20 feet.

Jack: No way!

GPS: Now turn left.

Jack: No damn way I’m turning left!

GPS: Please make a u-turn now.

Jack: Yeah right! You’re out of your damn mind!

Me: I think you’re the only person I’ve ever known to use a GPS just so you can argue with it. Why are you using it?

Jack: Because this thing is incredible. Right now (pointing to the screen) it’s communicating with nine satellites. But I know a better route.

Me: I’m so confused.