Stairstep Conversations

For the entire month of September, which included our 27th anniversary, Jack was out of town with the exception of one weekend. Both of us are like separate planets in the same orbit, so we fall back into our familiar patterns. Max, old yeller Lab, is joined to me at the hip, so I have had to move my office upstairs to the kitchen table. It’s exasperating to have to put a baby fence across the top stairs, because he will follow me hell or high water and fall down the steps if not stopped by a barrier. When I do run down, blocking him with the baby fence, old Max works himself into a frenzy running back and forth on the landing and whimpering. He had a horrible seizure last week. The poor old lion went through the frightening events of literally flipping over backward, and then losing all control of his body and bodily functions.

Of course, Jack was out of town, David in college, and much crying was involved on my part as I tried to console old Max and clean-up the aftermath. The vet said later, that at Max’s octogenarian- plus age, we were lucky not to have experienced more of the same. All that aside, we must keep the baby fence at the top of the stairs, because Max can’t negotiate the steps anymore. First day home, Jack is down in his office and I spend about twenty minutes at the top of the stairs telling Jack about recent events, after saying “Hey Jack!” and receiving his “Yeah!” response.

I tell him funny stories. Nothing. I tell him frustrating facts. Nothing. I tell him what his son just said about their last conversation. Nothing. “Okay, I’m getting flop sweat up here,” I yell down the stairs. “Can you just acknowledge that I’m alive?”

“What?” Jack replies.

“I’ve been telling you about everything that happened recently,” I call.

“Oh,” he shouts. “Sorry! I thought you were talking on the phone.”

“No, damnit, I’m trying to talk to you!” I reply. He laughs. The phone rings, and I go to answer it. Then I return and yell down the stairs, “Hey Jack!”

“Can’t talk! I’m on my cell phone!” he replies.

And people wonder why I’m crazy.