Deep TV

Those Viva Viagra commercials aro so cringe-inducing that I have to leave the room when they're on, not because of the subject matter but because of the hokiness. What must they pay those guys to "star" in them? Somebody has something on those guys and it must be something horrible.

But the ones I really can't figure out are the Cialis commercials--what do two claw-footed bathtubs, side-by-side on an elevated deck out on the beach have to do with erectile dysfunction? First of all, who put those tubs out there, and why? Plus, if a guy is having that particular problem, shouldn't he at least try getting into the same tub as the woman? How do they get water in those things? If they have to load it all out in buckets, because I don't see any plumbing, the guy is probably too tired to do anything else. Water is very heavy. How many years have they been doing this? They don't need Cialis, they need indoor plumbing and one bathtub.

And what about those air freshener commercials with animated animals wearing clothes? What the hell does an octopus, a kangaroo, or a chameleon have to do with air freshener? Did somebody luck onto some free graphics discarded by Disney? In one of these ads, an elephant's husband is a centipede! Now that's just wrong.

I looked over at Jack and asked, "How can that be?!" (Of course, I had accepted that an elephant wearing clothes had a picture of her insect husband framed on the wall.)

"I don't know, hon," he answered with way too much disinterest.

Maybe the centipede should take some of that Viagra or Cialis because that couple's kids aren't elephants OR centipedes. They're not even elepedes or centiphants. Next thing you know, I'll be seeing those two on Cheaters or Divorce Court. Mark my words.