Sister Act

I went to take my mother to visit my older sister who lives in the North Georgia mountains. I was just staying for a few days because I wouldn’t survive if I stayed much longer. You see this particular sister is always talking about coming to the mountains to relax, but she is about as relaxed as a fight dog on meth. She once seriously threatened to kill me for dropping some ice on her floor. She watches me eat and criticizes me for taking too many bites (more potential for crumbs). She is OCD2 (that's obsessive compulsive disorder squared) and I’m not talking behind her back here. She knows it and likes it, sometimes cleans until 3 a.m. Do NOT get in her way. Do NOT protest when she wants to scrub the tub in your room at 2:30 in the morning. Do not argue when she makes you drive around the mountains looking for a place to buy toilet paper at 4 a.m. (Oh, well, that's another story.)

One of the things that drives me crazy is that no matter how careful I am, I inevitably become the target of her ire. I find it particularly annoying that I can’t even find a way to agree with her.

Her: I really liked such and such a movie.
Me: I liked that too.
Her: Really, you never like those kinds of movies. It wasn’t that good.

Her: I think I’ll buy this. What do you think?
Me: I like it.
Her: It’s actually kind of ugly.

Her: Why aren’t there any police around when you need them?
Me: I know. They’re only around when someone is going two miles over the speed limit.
Her: Well, I disagree. They are pretty busy you know.
Me: You see this is a perfect example of the fact that you argue with me no matter what I say.
Her: That’s not true.