Squirrely

Years ago, I started putting out sunflower seeds for the squirrel population in the woods surrounding our house. They have since grown greatly in population, courage, and girth. I usually fill a big red to-go cup with the seeds, fill up a feeder attached to the tree, and put some more out on the deck. I know, I know, I’ve heard all the admonitions, but I enjoy the little critters and they only get the stuff once a day, alright sometimes twice. When I peer out on the deck, it often resembles a Disney movie, with squirrels, chipmunks, and a variety of birds all eating side by side. I even get adorable flying squirrels at night, but when I read an article about flying squirrels making excellent pets, Jack freaked. Not to worry, I don’t like to keep wild animals in cages.

The price I’ve paid though, besides the cost of the seeds, is some very spoiled squirrels. I can be in the middle of a phone call, or writing an article, or answering an e-mail, but if I haven’t brought out breakfast in time, one of the squirrel troops is assigned to walk up to the glass doors, stand up with its paws pressed against the glass, and stare at me. This is followed by knocking on the glass with one paw. If I’m still unresponsive, said squirrel will make several running leaps and hit the glass with all fours. Several other squirrel spectators usually lounge around on the deck rails watching the performance which culminates in my emergence with the big red cup.

The other day, I inadvertently left the empty cup outside and it blew under the deck during a storm. This morning, one of the performance squirrels became so perturbed at me that he crossed his arms and glared at me through the glass. I was in the middle of an Internet transaction, so I hadn’t yet responded to his prompts. Finally, I filled another cup with seeds and headed out, but I was greeted with this strange grating noise that seemed to be coming from the giant oak near the deck. I was looking all around when the noise suddenly stopped. I put my hands on my hips and stared straight up into the tree. Suddenly from the uppermost branches of the tree, the squirrel lobs the big red to-go cup from the day before at me! (Luckily, it was empty so it wasn’t able to pick up much speed.) However, if one day I “suddenly disappear” (see previous post), please look for me in the oak tree immediately.