This Day Sucked!

7:30 a. m. – I had planned to sleep later but I woke up and started worrying about money and bills and couldn’t go back to sleep.

8:30 – Tried to open a file and my computer crashed.

9:30 – Started calling people again for interviews in order to get paid for my freelance article jobs. Struck out completely.

10:00 – Computer revived so I started looking for jobs on the Internet without any luck. I found two jobs that I thought I could do in the AJC, but one was in Tennessee and the other said that applicant had to be 55 years or older. Since when am I too young for a job?!!

10:30 – Decided to spend the rest of the day cleaning bathrooms and doing laundry. At least I can do something productive.

10:31 – Turn on kitchen faucet to start cleaning. No water! (A road crew has broken a major water line, I soon discover.) I haven’t had a shower, so running errands is out of the question. Okay, you haven’t seen me in the morning!!

11:00 – I decide to work out on the treadmill, but it’s downstairs and our Lab hasn’t been doing well on the stairs since his last vertigo bout, so I have to walk him around the front gate, down the driveway, and into the garage. Then I lead him through Jack’s garage of horrors (believe me it’s slow going) through the downstairs door into the hallway that leads to my basement office containing treadmill. Still in morning attire, I walk with both dogs (have Pug, must follow) into the great outdoors. I almost made it but with my lucky timing the water meter man comes driving up. Triage! Triage! Pug will run toward truck; Lab will bite driver; driver will see me in this condition! Dragged Lab into garage, hit automatic closer, yelled up the stairs for son to save pug, knocked my shin off trying to find light.

11:45 – Attempt the reverse trip back. Pug wanders down driveway. Lab rambles off into the woods. It’s like herding cats. The remote phone in my hand rings. It’s one of the people I’ve been trying to contact for two months and my deadline is next week. Can’t answer, must retrieve errant canines.

12:00 – Call the interview contact back to talk about his company and he tells me a very sad story about his dog dying. What?

1:00 – Still no water! Now I’m sweaty, stinky, frustrated, and my house is still a mess.

1:45 – I get a call from a political party asking me to donate $75 or more. Are you kidding me?! I’ll send money to the first politician that gets me a steady job.

2:00 – I try my fifty spins on the I-Won Casino Machine. (You guessed it.) I did look up Jon Bon Jovi’s age—45 and he looks fantastic! Also sunflowers are used for their seeds as well as sunflower oil. There are other uses but who gives a damn.

2:45 – I think I blacked out.

3:00 – Maybe I’ll have a glass of wine. I don’t have ANY! My sister calls to tell me that the lunch she scheduled for the next day with me and Mom will be attended by several people from her office. Nooo! Don’t you know I have social anxiety? Also it’s at one of those cafeteria-type scenarios where you have to go through a line. The double whammy.

3:30 – What’s that noise? The water is back on. Hallelujah! I can take a shower, the highlight of my day.

4:00 – I start to organize my bills and determine how much money I made this month.

4:01 -- I start to cry.

5:45 -- On and on and on. Nothing good to eat in the kitchen, but I’m not leaving for the grocery now. Can you imagine the traffic and how many of "the others" will be out and about?

7:00 – Let the dog in and out. Let the other dog in and out. Let the other dog in and out. Let the other dog in and out . . . to infinity and beyond.

8:00 – Turn the television on the TV Guide channel and wait for three hours for it to run around to the first five channels. Just as it gets there, it cuts out for a monthly required bleeping test of the broadcast system.

8:15 – Stop Lab from “making love” to his bedding.

9:30 – Tried to tell Jack the story about the dog, but his narcolepsy kicked in before I got through the first sentence. (I feel pretty and very interesting as well.)

9:00 – Contemplated taking another shower. Changed channels and saw a story about a kid whose parents kept him in a cage and made him wear a dog shock collar. Nope. The next channel is all about the deadly jellyfish of Australia. They kill with one sting.

10:00 – Researched airfare to beach in Australia.

11:40 – Turn on Jay Leno and Burt Bacharach is singing and playing the piano. He is STILL alive, which is fine, but he is STILL "singing." Turned off television.

12:00 -- Made final well-researched conclusion: This Day SUCKED!